Am I Too Sensitive for the Internet?

When I discovered the world of blogging and social media content back in 2020, I thought I’d mastered the art of speaking my mind without saying anything too controversial (usually by including a lot of disclaimers, parenthesis, and run-on sentences). I didn’t recognize my unfortunate reality of being very opinionated while also having the tendency to take every critical comment as a personal attack, especially in instances when I strongly disagree with the counterargument being presented. I developed the viewpoint over time that the nature of online interactions encourages people to listen (or read) to argue rather than to understand. What I didn’t see was that my immediate urge to start typing out a response is a product of the same problem. 

As someone who writes about personal aspects of my own life and perspectives that stem from my lived experience, disagreements on these issues are often very emotionally charged for me. Since I began blogging, posting, and writing because I desperately wanted the general public to understand my (often frustrating and isolating) experience of having a disability, it’s hard not to take it as a personal failure when someone doesn’t understand. This is particularly heightened when the critique is coming from someone who I’ve never met. How can a stranger on the internet tell me that I’m wrong about what goes on in my own head? And  is an argument in the comments of an Instagram post even going to create any kind of productive conversation? And yet there are times when I too see something that I believe is harmful and can’t help but leave a comment. I strive to make these VERY polite and carefully thought-out comments that acknowledge the nuances in the topic being discussed and avoid immediate reactions that come from a place of defensiveness- but even so, is it helpful? And am I always successful in this effort? There may be times when it might be productive, just as I have received critiques on the internet before that have genuinely made me re-evaluate my position. But what if I am misunderstanding someone else’s intent in these cases, just as I have felt others have done to me? 

As time went on, I began to get a little more bold on the internet and a lot more opinionated. My urge to argue with comments or replies that annoyed me (rather than just ignore and move on) became stronger. The reality is, when I put my lived experience on the internet, I am making it available for public comment. Though it sometimes feels that my opinions are being met with deliberate misunderstanding, I am trying to re-examine that reaction and assume best intent. Virtual interactions are not often conducive to healthy and productive debate. The barrier of the screen makes it difficult to understand someone’s intention. For example, I once had a disagreement with someone in the comments of a video I made that ended with them threatening to sue me for harassment and fraud if my videos didn’t stop showing up in their algorithm-generated content suggestions. I had gone into this interaction believing that they were open to a conversation and ended the conversation seriously doubting both their intentions as well as their understanding of algorithms, fraud, and lawsuits. 

My goal for the next phase of my internet content is to learn that not every comment needs a reply and not every opposing opinion needs to be expressed, particularly if expressing it may ignite an endless comment war rather than cultivating mutual understanding. I have experienced this problem from both sides and – in the age of thirty-second videos and 140-character tweets, I am starting to recognize that the internet platforms themselves are a big part of the problem. Being a sensitive blogger who reads into everything and has a lot of opinions is not always easy, but I am determined to use this experience to learn and grow instead of avoiding expressing myself altogether.